This is a continuation of a relationship teaching the Lord has put strongly on my heart to share in the Holy Spirit. It is based on the scripture Matthew 7:15-18 where Lord Jesus gives a warning and teaches us that we will know others by their fruit. Look at the Fruit – Part 1 for more context and foundation.
With all the issues of narcissism today, we should take note that seeds need to be planted and received into good-hearted soil to be able to produce good fruit. The word (seed) that people are sowing into their heart soil makes a big difference. Once the seed is sown it needs to take root, and then go through the process of growing, being watered, and producing fruit in due season. This takes time. Let’s break this down a little bit more and put it into the context of our broader relationships.
It takes considerable time to get to know someone’s character (fruit). Character is different than personality. Many people confuse the two. Often people assess others by personality traits rather than character traits. Personality is based on the word “persona” which means mask. It tends to be surface level and may fluctuate fairly easily. Some examples may be, “She is fun-loving” or “He can be shy.”
The character, on the other hand, are traits that are deeper and usually revealed under pressure. Character tends to be seen, known, and proven. Some character trait examples are “trustworthiness” and “faithfulness.” People really can’t fake character traits. If someone is a liar it will eventually come out. If someone claims to be faithful but isn’t, they will not be able to go very long in a relationship trying to act like they have good fruit when in reality those seeds were never planted, watered, and produced. However, to realize this you need to be patient and wait.
Trust is earned over time and it can be broken in a moment.
Because people tend to confuse personality (mask) with character (deeper) traits, and many relationships often end in disappointment. Why? Because Lord Jesus said we will know people by their fruit. Notice this is a knowing proof, not an assumption, not surface level or guessing. Where does the Lord say the knowing and proof will be revealed? By the fruit on their tree.
With this teaching in mind, we need to do ourselves a favor and get to know each other’s character over time. Fruit cannot be rushed. It cannot grow overnight. And be warned, if a person wants you to believe that they have certain character traits or fruits on their tree that you don’t see clearly displayed, then they are either lying to you or it is still in the producing process. The only way to tell if it’s legitimate is to wait until you see the proof in front of you.
Therefore, use caution and be wise in your expectations. There is a reason why the Lord also says “Behold, I send you forth as sheep amid wolves. Be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” (Matthew 10:16) Notice the similar wolves analogy to Matthew 7:15-18! “Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.”
The tree will produce something. It will be either good or bad. So make sure you know how to discern what is bad and what is good!
Likewise,
We need to make sure that we don’t ignore, make excuses for, or rationalize the fruit we see. When we see the fruit, it will tell us but it displays what it is.
Verse 18 says, “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.”
Good cannot bear bad and bad cannot bear good. So we need to stop making excuses and see it for what it really is.
TIP: Make sure you pray when it comes to your relationships no matter what kind it is. It is likely the Lord will have you walk away, keep a healthy distance, not hang out with, sit under, or be influenced by, or be in a serious relationship with a person who is bearing bad fruit or not bearing the appropriate fruit. This is for you’re own good and maybe theirs’ too. Remember GOD IS GOD so let HIM be. Trust in Him to bring forth the right Godly relationships in your life. Also, remember that You are not anyone’s SAVIOR, JESUS IS.
Were you blessed by this teaching? Would love to hear your comments below 🙂
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